I've been thinking about the direction this blog has taken. I have to be honest with you – I'm surprised anyone still reads. I post so sporadically and when I do I feel my writing lacks the energy and spontaneity it once had.
When I started with the whole "mom blogging" thing I wasn't new to the blogosphere. I'd been blogging for nine years already, on a close-knit, private community called Xanga. It was fun, it was supportive, it was intimate. But as life would have it, folks went their separate ways and, while many of us remain friends on and offline, our little community as we knew it dissipated. And though I was no longer blogging, life continued to happen. Derek and I discovered we were expecting, and a boy no less, and I realized I still had much to say. This time I sought a more public sphere – and I dove excitedly into what today is The Prissy Mommy Chronicles.
With Chase every little detail was enthralling – each milestone so novel and exciting. I blogged throughout the pregnancy, unabashedly sharing my reflections on pregnancy, my hopes and wishes for the baby, any trepidation I experienced, my fantasies about motherhood… Then when Chase was born I blogged about the first time he ate solids, when his first tooth appeared, his first episode of stranger anxiety, when he first played in the snow, his first haircut. Every teeny tiny milestones was so special and each developmental phase fodder for a new blog post.
When I became pregnant with Bryce, Chase was but a baby himself. And the blog centered around transitioning to a household of four, a mom of two boys. I wondered how Bryce's arrival would impact Chase – how it would impact our family… and that became my obsesh for the time.
Bryce was born and…. it's not that those same "firsts" aren't special or important. Amongst ourselves, Derek and I chattered excitedly about his first smile… we practically melt when we hear that sweet, infectious baby laugh… our hearts swelled with pride the first time he sat up on his own, and just last week when he babbled something that vaguely resembled "Dada." We took video footage of his first time eating solids yet… I didn't bother posting it online.
I wonder why?
Well, I suppose I no longer feel that I "need" the same support (or validation?) that I did with my first child. Secondly, well, when I blogged about those "firsts" with Chase it was fresh and brand new, so it took little to no effort for everyday occurrences to manifest into witty, interesting blog posts. But now having written those blog posts, I find that I've lost the motivation to do it again. While we celebrate Bryce's "firsts" as a family, I realize I don't have the same energy – or desire – to recreate similarly cute little anecdotes about Bryce's experiences.
I feel so ashamed writing that.
I created this blog as a virtual baby book, and I don't want my boys to ever look back and see an imbalance. But it's become that. There are more blog posts about Chase, more pictures of Chase, more videos of Chase. I love my boys the same. I'm in love with Bryce, just as I'm in love with Chase. But…. I guess I'm over blogging about the exact same things. It kind of feels like "been there done that, bought the t-shirt."
I'm not saying I don't want to be a mom blogger anymore. I guess I'm just reflecting aloud my realization that it takes a whole lot more to get me energized to write about the things I used to write about. I wonder how to get that back, or if I should strive to get back something that perhaps I've evolved past?
I think a lot about renewing some of my former interests. Once upon a time I was a pretty big influencer in the black hair care community. I was quite active on hair care messageboards, and super invested in educating others about healthy hair that grows, helping ladies achieve their hair goals, and I stayed on top of my own regimen. Having grown out over-processed, shoulder length hair to waist length, I was happy to freely give back to others who wanted the same. So I kept a hair journal that I updated with progress pictures regulaly, and made myself an available resource for those who sought the same.
I don’t do any of that today, and it baffles me. I miss those days. And I'm wanting to focus on some of those things again. I just hope Bryce never looks back and wonders why he didn't get the same attention on this blog that his brother did.
I'm not sure where I was going with this post. It certainly wasn't intended to be an apology or an excuse for my lacklustre attitude toward blogging these days. I think I just needed to think aloud about the direction of this blog, and where I'd like to take it.
I'm going to put more thought into this….
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I am anxious to read about the new direction of your blog. I’d LOVE to read about your haircare tips. Lord knows I need them out here in Germany!
I can totally relate about the difference between being a first time mom and beyond. Things were a bit different for us because we are a blended family, so while we had a daughter and son together, we had previous children, so my second daughter’s milestones were really cool to share,but with our second child together it was different, but he wasn’t trying to be outdone, so he did a lot of his milestones months before his bro and sister. Kids are funny! Again, can’t wait to read more
I think every blogger experiences this at some point Yakini. There comes a point where you wonder whether you want to continue blogging or not. I just want to add that I love your blog, even though I am not a mommy yet, I’ve learned a lot and enjoy seeing your beautiful boys grow. You can always take your blog into whatever direction you wish as your life changes. I think this is an awesome blog and whatever you decide to do with it will be awesome.
Where are you???
I love your blog and its concept. I can definitley understand this post and how tough it is to keep the energy. I’m sure you’ll find ways to develop things and accommodate your new outlook. I look forward to following you…
I definitely don’t think you should stop blogging. There’s nothing wrong with your blog changing direction considering your life has changed over the pst few years. Also I’m sure you are not the only person out there feeling the way you do when you blog about your children…
I’m a new follower. Hope you follow my blog back. I’m adding your blog button to my Blogs I Heart section.
Teddy
http://iheartmaternity.blogspot.com
Yakini,
I came across your site while I was surfing on Google. I think your boys are adoreable. As the stepmom of two teenage sons, I can tell you parenthood is defintely a process, but as you know, it’s also rewarding. And it gets easier with time.
When I feel myself surrounded by too much testosterone, I treat myself to an afternoon of “Me” time. Of course, my sons are 13 and 15 now, so they are very self-sufficient, which leaves even more “Me” time some days.
If you’re looking for something to do late one Tuesday night, check me out on The Chanta Rand Show from 7-9 PM CST. I host an internet radio show where I talk with my guests about love, romance and issues that affect women. To listen, go to http://www.FishBowlRadioNetwork.com and click on the red bowl. We don’t drop the f-bomb, but we do get pretty crazy sometimes.
Also, we have a segment called the Randtastic Hair Forum, where stylist Kerry Rand gives hair tips and he talks about the hair industry in general. Since you have a background in hair, you might find it very interesting.
So,feel free to call us or sound off about whatever issues we’re discussing. Take care and keep writing. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and I don’t think it’s boring at all!
I have been reading your writings since the BP mocha_barbie days! As some folks have already mentioned, how about blogging about your whole self? The boys, married life, beauty, cooking, etc. I wish you well in which ever way your reflections take you.
I don’t think that your blog is a boring one. In fact I love reading it!
Yakini, you know I understand. All I will say is this: redefine what this blogging thing means to you. Don’t hold yourself to the standards and expectations of others. And remember, while you may have spent a lot of time building this blog as your brand, you have a following that likes you for you. If you decided to end this blog and startup again elsewhere, you will still have the following and support. Do not enslave yourself to the blog!
p.s. regarding the second child’s attention being paled by the firstborn–that’s the norm, baby. my mom, dad, and grannykins loved me just as much as my older brother, their first child. they loved my sister as much as they loved me, though i was the first daughter. while there are fewer photos of me compared to the first one, that’s expected back in the prehistoric days when i grew up.
however, there are just as many pixs you have of Bryce as you do for Chase and that’s all that matters. When he is ten years old looking in the photo album, he will not feel slighted at all! Just because we don’t see them in your blogs, we know that you guys still snap photos whenever you have a chance! And,…if you have gotten slack, then snap out of it and start clicking away at baby boy Brycee!! if that is the case– shame on you neglecting my youngest grandchild!!!
Our children make us grow older. Having children takes us away from our lives. Getting older makes you now want to reclaim some type of a life for yourself. Baby, you’re just growing up and getting older– that’s all! This is merely another phase of being a woman; you are just transitioning from one stage of being a young robust female to becoming a young, robust, but wiser and more mature mommykins.
It’s time to find that new passion and go after it–whether it’s dancing, baking, building, collecting, painting, being on the radio, advising, etc, etc!! it may not be anything to do with blogging or being internet-related at all BUT when you find it, you will know. At that time, you will still be that young, robust, wiser, mature mommykins but a super happy, self-driven, and excited one all over again, doing something that you love, that you are passionate about.
Hmmm–maybe it’s time to get back into shape, into your own beauty-making, and consider seeking that “Mrs. New York State” title….or some other pageantry you qualify for: it’s fun, self-enriching, and something that you’ve always loved:)
Hey lady!!!! It has been a long time. Trying to catch up on my reading!!! Don’t feel bad, what you are feeling and writing is very natural. It is really out of your hands. You have a full plate and it gets harder as they get older. When Bryce looks back he may make comments about there being more pics of Chase or more documentation of Chase and he will be with a large group of kids making those comments, mine included. However, I think the love he receives is far more greater!!!!! Girl it happens. How often do you pamper yourself now that you are a wife and mommy…I won’t wait for the answer, but I am sure you feel me. I still love the updates, even though I get to them when it’s history, lol!!!!
I remember the Xanga days, I even remember BP days (MochaBarbie) LOL!…People contiune to follow you because you are real and we can relate to the different phases of life that you share. I’m all for you sharing more of your hair secrets. I’d even like to see some more of your baking culinary treasures. Do you still bake cakes? All of these fit under the ‘Mommy’ umbrella.
STANDING-O!! *clapping*
Yakini:
Every word that you write is passionate, and every post that you do is replete with some level of thought and brilliance. THAT is why we keep coming back to read it. We love you. And your writing style. I suppose what you are describing is normal — perhaps you don’t want to write about the same thing out of fear that someone may say, “didn’t she say that with Chase…” LOL. I think it’ll be great if you wrote about Black hair care. Like you, my hair is naturally thin and I would love to learn other ways to care for it! And who better to learn from?
I’m sure that as the weather gets warmer and you guys venture out as a family of four to explore all that the city has to offer, you’ll have even more great things to share on this blog
I can empathize with you. Although, I’m sure you can find some differences in the boys’ similar accomlishments. Maybe Bryce crawled before Chase or maybe he does something funny that separates him. I hope you decide to continue writing the blog. I look forward to your cute posts.
I think your feelings are normal. I think all parents act as you do, the first child is all encompassing, photos, every lst is an event and then it just wanes with each subsequent.
There are threee of us and if you saw my poor brothers baby book its just sad, there are hardly any entries or photos.
Hang in there
http://www.nycsinglemom.com
I love your blog and check it regularly, I never felt that it was boring. If and when you decide to become more active on LHCF, I’ll gladly welcome you back!
it’s ok. take your time of transition.
I think that this happens to a lot of parents. As the older child, I have more albums and pictures than my middle sister, who felt as if my parents didn’t marvel over her like they did me. My parents explained to her that they love both of us equally. My mom wasn’t working when she had me. My grandparents were around and always took snapshots of me.
When my sister came around (after my mom had a miscarriage when I was 4), I was 6 years old. We do have pictures of her as well as with us! However, she didn’t have as much albums as I do. I don’t know why, but, the 2nd child doesn’t get as much as the first. When my baby sis was born, the middle one was 7 and I was 13. My baby sister got a lot of pictures taken because since I was older, I went crazy with the picture taking.
I commend you for your post! I totally know what your going through and I don’t plan on having a 2nd child. I was looking at Z’s pre-birthday weekend pics as well as her birthday party pics and I said to DH if we decided to have a 2nd child, he or she would feel like Ziomara got more. When Ziomara was born, I worked for the DOE, I had breaks and summers off. We did a lot and spent a lot of time together. I got unemployed and we got to do even more things together.
I know for a fact that you love both of your sons equally.
PS I still read your blog and I am looking fwd to another hair one!
I think we read because you are honest and thoughtful – as per this post. Thanks for sharing.
Aisha
I am right there with you! I was nodding to almost every line of this post. Rest assured, your voice is unique and inspiring – I know whatever direction you decide to take it will be great to read! (Oooo, and please, please make hair tips a part of it! I have very thick hair but lost some of it after Wes! I am so depressed about it…)
i think your feelings are totally understandable! why repeat all of the same topics with bryce’s “firsts?” i don’t think it’s favoritism or anything, it’s just “been there, done that” like you said. and these sentiments will probably be shared by your readers as well, who will want to read something new and fresh.
“I’m sure as they get older it will be more of a focus on the adventures of chase and bryce, the twosome”
i thought that was a great point. i would like to hear more about the etheridge family as a whole now, and how the brothers interact with one another. if you don’t want to blog about every single milestone, that makes perfect sense. just focus on how you juggle being a mommy, career woman, wife, etc. and feel free to bring in other topics (hair, cooking, cake baking, etc.) as well.
Yaki – knowing how passionate you were/are about motherhood, family, etc – I think you did what a lot of new moms have done.
You kinda forgot about yourself and the (other) things that make you Yakini. Your love of vintage aprons, collectible Barbies, Make-up/beauty, education, etiquette, feminitity, etc. All of that sorta went to the wayside and you became Yaki the mommy instead of Yaki, the dynamic multi-talented woman who is ALSO a mom and wife.
You know me – Ive blogged in the past about how one of the promises that I made to myself is that I would never lose sight of who I was BEFORE I became Jordy’s mother. You can do the same!
I love you girlfriend!
I’m sure every blogger goes through this at some point – whether they’re a mom blogger or not.
I’d say take a break for a little while or jump into other topics you like then come back to this with fresh eyes.
Although I’m not a mom (my partner has two boys, but I don’t see them regularly and since he & I are not married, I’m not a step mom) but I think so many moms feel the way you do. Whether they’re bloggers or not.
The first always gets the most because its new. You can change that. Things don’t have to be tit for tat, but you can devote time to Bryce on here that’s different than that of Chase. It doesn’t have to be numerically even. The posts don’t have to be parallel. Your love is the same, and that’s what counts.
I love this post and so glad you wrote it. Sometimes we don’t really know where we are going with our writing and its not specific to mom bloggers. In the end we are women and have so many roles, why not let express it in your blog. I think it fits in perfectly with you balancing life with two boys. Write what you feel like, when you feel like and I’m sure stories about your boys will fit right in.
Aw, Yakini. I completely understand (and I miss those Xanga days as well).
Thing is blogging is cathartic for many of us, and it’s completely understandable if you don’t feel you need the same “release” you did when Chase was younger. Personally, I’d like to see a mixture here on your blog of your new and old interests. It seems about this time in a mom’s life when she starts getting back to her “old self” and bringing what once made her tick to her mothering.
I’m excited about whatever direction your blogging will take because I’ve always admired you and thought you were just plain awesome!
Whatever you do we support you.
Writing about your true feelings is as authentic a blog piece as any of us can realize anyway, and you just did that!
Love you!
Yakini, I feel you. I don’t blog as often as I should. There are some many moments that I’d like to capture but I just can’t make myself do it. I agree with others, there’s nothing wrong with your blog evolving. (I have to remember that.) And it doesn’t mean that you care for Bryce and less than you do Chase.
P.S. I remember you from LHCF. I didn’t post much over there. LOL
I totally understand what you are trying to say in your post. But just because you are the Prissy Mommy doesn’t mean that’s all you have to post about. In fact, I would absolutely LOVE learning more about YOU. Kids are great and all but let’s face it, they are all pretty much the same. On mommy blogs across the board, I can read about somebody’s kids first. I love reading about kids but I also like to mix it up a bit. Rekindle your interest in hair, I wanna hear about it. I would also like to hear more about you as a person. Along with posts about the kids. I would like that. And maybe you will too.
I love reading your blog. New reader and dont post regularly myself sometimes (blaming my 2 week hiatus on being a juror on a murder case
I try not to judge people by how much they post but I enjoy when they do show up 
now you got me excited going to write now!
I loved reading at looking at your cake decorating adventures on Xanga, perhaps you could pick that up. I know it would be rather hard with a family though.
As long as you celebrate Bryce as a family, he should never feel slighted. I’m sure as they get older it will be more of a focus on the adventures of chase and bryce, the twosome…lol
Personally, I don’t think that you should get stuck in the mindset that Prissy Mommy Chronicles is just a mom blog. Yes, you blog about your trials and excitement with motherhood, but I’ve also read some of your posts on hair and beauty. Maybe, breaking out of the box will help you get your love and energy for blogging back.
I know that when people hear that my blog’s name is YUMMommy, they automatically classify it as a mom blog, but it’s not. Yes, I blog about motherhood, but YUMMommy is what I am (Young, Urban, Modern Mommy) and that’s why I decided to call my blog that. I diversify and write about fashion (my 1st love), beauty, entertainment and anything else I want.
I hope that you can find a way to evolve and keep Prissy Mommy Chronicles going.
Writing a blog is seriously hard work and I completely understand everything you’ve written here. You’re in a little rut and the nice thing is that the blog, and your readers will always be here for when YOU need it. It’s about YOU hon, and if the blog isn’t doing it for you, you certainly shouldn’t feel any obligation, especially to your kids that are already getting SO much of you. As long as you keep coming to events so I can see your beautiful face, everything will be fine
I can relate to this post so much! My “mommy” blog has pretty much turned into a lifestyle blog and I’m okay with that. I love both my boys so much but my focus is no longer on my mommy self solely but more about my whole self. We are evolving and so are our blogs
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Yakini, I completely understand what you are saying. I felt the same way when I had Brie. I don’t have nearly as many photos of Brie as I do Chardie. I always try not to overdo anything with William so every child gets equal attention. Then again, I am way more financially stable at this point in my life than I was back when the girls were babies.
Funny thing is the first post I remember reading of yours was about hair care! I really got some great information from it and was able to share it with my girls.
Whatever you decide will be the right thing to do. I almost quit blogging all together. I wasn’t sure if it was for me anymore. Then I have wonderful people like you who comment on EVERY post and it makes me know that I am wanted.
You are a great woman, wife and mom. I wish you the best on your blog-soul search