Author Archives: Yakini

Yes, Moms Have Fun Too

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Old School Mommy & Chase ~ Circa 2009

On the weekends we make every effort to get out of the house and do something fun as a family. Chase had a birthday party to attend this past Sunday, but Saturday was wide open. So after the boys woke up from their nap we decided to do a little shopping and sightseeing outside the city. I wanted to check out the little boutique where Derek had found a cute vintage Gucci clutch and Escada bracelet for me last year. I was eager to see what else they had. So we went to the shop, which ended up being a tad expensive for my liking, and then afterward went to Pizzeria Uno to eat.

As always, getting the boys settled at the table was a bit of a production – no more drama than usual though. First they brought us to a booth, then we determined that two highchairs at the end of the table wasn’t safe, and we finally settled into a private little corner table where there was space to park the stroller, place my bags, and set up the high chairs.

I was in full-on mom mode, directing and guiding and not allowing myself to get comfortable until everyone was situated. I decided to get Chase the kids cheese pizza along with a side of fries, and Bryce would eat his Stage 3 food I’d packed and also munch on some of Chase’s fries. There was a brief little scuffle over who got to color on the one kids menu that the hostess had brought out, but it was resolved when Chase threw the menu across the table and lost those privileges. By that point I was eager to relax and enjoy myself. After Derek looked at the drink menu he decided to go with a Long Island Iced Tea. I was on the verge of announcing that I wanted a lemonade – my usual safe drink when we’re out together as a family…. but something struck me and I decided to go with a Pina Colada. Yum! Pina Coladas always make me happy, maybe because I associate them with being on a Carribean Island, which is usually the only time I order one. Ordering this drink was kind of a big deal for me so, my usual indecisive self, I asked Derek if I should get it and of course he thought it was a good idea.

The waitress came over and asked for drink orders first. Derek ordered his Long Island Iced Tea, and she jotted it on her pad wordlessly. I ordered two apple juices for the boys then, barely able to contain my glee, said I’d try a Pina Colada. The waitress paused for a moment. She looked at me, smiled kindly, and asked if that would be virgin?

So let’s recap, just so we’re all clear…. this young, barely 20-something waitress gave me a once over and then, in a gentle tone, proceeded to ask if I wanted a virgin freaking drink!

Well, I’m pretty sure I didn’t look pregnant, and I certainly don’t appear to be under 21, so I can only surmise that she took in my appearance – hair pulled back, glasses slipping down nose (still a bit disheveled from the brief chaos of getting the boys situated), maybe dressed too sensibly and mom-ish – and thought that I wasn’t cool enough to order an alcoholic drink? Then I thought, or maybe she just doesn’t think a mom should/would order alcohol when out with the kids? But it’s okay for dad to order a drink as notoriously alcohol-heavy as a LI Iced Tea?

Whatever the case – the nerve!

I hesitated now, second-guessing myself, and glanced over at Derek. I wanted to make eye contact so he could read my incredulous facial expression that said: “Dude, did this chick really just ask me if I wanted that non-alcoholic? She didn’t question your Long Island Iced Tea!” But he was looking away – either avoiding eye contact or maybe in his own world.

So I turned back and smiled and told her that I would like a regular Pina Colada. She smiled back and said okay, then turned on her heel to walk away. No big deal, just like that.

Of course, I obsessed about it afterward for a short while. “What about me screams virgin Pina Colada?” I probed Derek. He didn’t have an answer. He didn’t agree or disagree with my theories, but just said that it was no big deal.

My drink came and it was delicious – albeit on the weak side. (Of course, at this point I’m paranoid, and thinking that she told the bar to make me a weak one because she didn’t think I could handle anything stronger).

*smh* This is why I don’t even bother sometimes. Next time I’ll probably just stick with my lemonade. Kidding! Honestly though, I’m so over always getting the “safe” drink (in life) and, after two little ones who are both almost past the baby stage, I’m ready to start letting my hair down again – proverbially speaking. Whether I look like a conservative school marm that day or like I stepped out the pages of Glamour Mag… whether we’re having date night or out with the kids, I’ve resolved that I’ll order what I please (within reason) and frankly, won’t let anybody’s side-eye stop me.

Potty Training Update + A New Plan

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My Big Star Reward Chart

So you’re probably aware that we’re in the throes of potty training.  And, by in the throes, I mean doing miserably and not making a lot of progress at all.  We peaked around the time that I introduced a reward system (i.e., small treat every time Chase went in the potty), but that got old quickly, and along with it his interest in using the potty.  His daycare teachers continue to be great about encouraging the kids to sit on the potty throughout the day.  If only Derek and I were so disciplined on the weekends to keep that momentum going.  These days, if he goes at all, it’s because I cajoled him. A shame – for a good month he was wearing pull-ups, going #1 and #2 in the potty on his own, and I thought we were about to transition to big boy underpants.  Then – screeeech!!!! We’re now back to him sneaking off into a private corner to poop, and then continuing to play as though nothing had happened.

With that said, I’m always on the lookout for any tools, games, or activities that can aid us in not only potty training, but in helping promote positive behaviors and overall healthy development in our boys.  The timing was perfect when The Victoria Chart Company contacted me about reviewing a selection of their products.  They specialize in fully customizable rewards charts  for children that are age-specific and cover common milestones.  I decided to start with a review of My Big Star Reward Chart, which is designed for kids who are ages 1 years old and older. I’m not discarding our old system but very much open to supplementing it.

When My Big Star Reward Chart arrived, Chase and I sat down to look at it.  He rifled curiously through the contents, intrigued because he saw stickers.  We created his chart together – he helped peel Activity Stickers from the paper and handed them to me to place on the chart.  I explained what each sticker represented.  Though he isn’t yet able to read, he could understand the activity based on the illustration.  After we had customized his chart, I told him that he had already earned two stickers, because he had used the potty earlier that day and had also helped me straighten the living room.  He was so overjoyed by this, and took his time picking out two stickers that he really liked.  He beamed with pride as he placed his stickers on his new chart.  Then he helped me find the perfect place to hang it.

My Big Star Reward Chart pack includes:

  • Large wall chart to monitor progress.
  • Activity Stickers which include: I used my potty, I’ve eaten my food, I shared nicely, I’ve been very brave, I’ve spoken nicely, I picked up my toys, I’ve been active, and I’ve been good at bedtime.
  • Blank Activity Stickers that can be customized to the individual needs of your child.
  • Colored Smiley Face Stickers designed to help with learning colors and counting.
  • Gold Smiley Star Achievement Stickers for when your child does exceptionally well.
  • A Supportive Information Sheet with a practical example, tips and guidelines to help you and your child get the best results from your chart.
  • Sticky mounting pads and a dry-erase marker.

We are so eager to see if this fun new behavioral system might spark a rejuvenated interest in the potty for Chase.  If you’re parent to a toddler, than you know sometimes we have to get creative to achieve certain goals with them.  In fact, sometimes we’re willing to try anything  - within reason, of course.  The Victoria Rewards Charts seems to be a nice way to get your toddler excited and, with the added visual element, keep them interested in following through.  Essentially, I’m hoping that it’ll reinforce the rules, lessons, and values that Derek and I are working on with him.  I’ll keep ya’all posted!

Enter code VCHARTUS for a 10% discount off all products on The Victoria Chart Company website.

Heading to Ohio!

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Hey ya’all!

So tomorrow I fly out to Cincinnati, Ohio for a Pampers Baby Board meeting.  Ohio is where the Procter & Gamble Baby Care Headquarters is located.  The above picture was taken when I last visited Pampers for the Dry Max Blogger Event in June 2010.  I was 7 1/2 months pregnant then and had to get permission from my OB to fly.  Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago!  During that visit we were given a behind the scenes tour of Baby Care Headquarters and spent time with Pampers execs to discuss the technology behind the Dry Max innovation. It was an interesting and informative trip – jampacked with tons of good information.  So much has happened since that time… Bryce is now here.  Since that trip I was invited to join their inaugural Baby Board and, of course, I continue to eagerly use my voice as a social media mom and liaison between Pampers and the parents who use them.

I’m excited about this trip! Each board member has been working on his and her own Little Miracle Missions project and we’re meeting to discuss our progress.  We’ll also be meeting with “Pregnant In Heels” Rosie Pope to discuss the new Pampers Prints diapers as well as having our own fabulous diaper design contest (winning design to be considered for next season’s Pampers prints diapers! Woohoo!!).  There’s lots more on the agenda, and I’ll certainly be recapping upon my return.  The two day trip promises to be fun-filled and chock full of information.  I just love the Pampers team - they are so warm and down-to-earth… many of them with kids as well, and so adamant that they are parents first before all else.  This is one brand that I feel extremely proud to partner with.

Anyhoo, just wanted to peek my head in to let ya’all know what was going on in my neck of the woods.  If you’d like (and I hope that you do!), you can follow Twitter hashtag #BabyBoard to keep up with us during the trip!

Chase Rides his Trike for the Cure #BeatCancer

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Last Friday Chase rode in the St. Jude Trike-A-Thon to raise money to help St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital find new treatments for cancer, sickle cell, and other diseases. The mission of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is to advance cures for pediatric diseases through research and treatment.  What has always touched me about this hospital is that no child is denied treatment based on a family’s ability to pay.

I think often about how blessed, fortunate, and lucky we are that our two boys were born healthy and, thus far, have developed “normally.”  Some children aren’t so fortunate, born either with special needs or developing serious illnesses early on.  Our good health is something not to be taken for granted.  That’s why it’s so important to me that we give back in any way we can to other families.  Moreover, I want our boys to be caring individuals, and to understand the importance of helping others.  I’ve already begun involving the boys in some of the things we do to give back, such as when Chase made a Build-A-Bear this past holiday season and donated it to the Toys for Tots drive.

So I set up a Trike-A-Thon fundraising page for Chase, with a goal based on what we can provide for St. Jude patients, for example:

complete blood count test = $55

chest x-ray, one view = $136

spinal tap = $274

physical therapy per hour = $360

one day of oxygen = $435

As you can see, every single dollar really does make a difference in the lives of these little patients.  I’m so thrilled that we’ve almost reached our goal of $350.  We’re just $35 shy of reaching our goal, and we’re accepting donations til this Friday, so please feel free to visit his fundraising page and make a donation! :-)

The Trike-A-Thon was also an opportunity to reinforce important riding safety lessons for the kids, such as always wearing your helmet before getting on any riding toy, being careful of cars pulling out of driveways, and never riding too close to steps or pools.  Chase had so much fun in the Trike-A-Thon!  I think I was just as exhausted as the kids when we were done, as I was a parent volunteer and busy pushing the tots who were tiring out as they made their way along the path.  After the Trike-A-Thon ended the kids felt so proud of themselves – as they should have!  And I felt really good that Chase had participated in such a special event.  I hope this is only the beginning of a lifelong commitment of helping others.

Thank you so very much to all of my friends and family who donated to the Trike-A-Thon.  Thank you, also, for all the sweet and thoughtful messages you sent to Chase prior to his event – I read them all to him!  We are so appreciative and grateful for your support, and know that your donations are doing so much for all the young children and babies who are sick.

Potty Training With Treats

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Chase enjoying his Hot Wheels cars that he earned via using the potty

So as you know, we started casually potty training Chase shortly after he turned two years old. I’d done a pretty good job of avoiding it up til that time, but realized I needed to start being proactive before his third birthday came and went. With the boys in day care full time, I admittedly feel a bit of pressure to have him potty trained lest he be that last kid in the class, still wearing diapers as he prepares to enter Pre-K at age four. His teachers in the toddler room have been fantastic about potty training; all the children are encouraged to use the potty throughout the day. So at school Chase is very much in the habit of going to the potty (or, at least being offered). However, our potty at home mainly sat in the bathroom, untouched – oh, wait, not quite. It also doubles as a footstool when he brushes his teeth.

Derek and I would half-heartedly ask him to use the potty every now and then. His response was usually “No,” and he’d go back to playing, and we’d go back to doing what we were doing. It became apparent to me that our lackadaisical approach was causing him to feel indifferent as well. So without the proper motivation, Chase wasn’t making any progress at home. I feared that he was beginning to view school as a place to use the potty, and home as a place where it was okay to not worry about it (i.e., Mom and Dad don’t seem to care, so why should I?) At that point he had done #1 in our potty at home maybe once or twice, but never #2. I found myself growing frustrated – with myself, with Derek, with him even – and wasn’t sure what to do next. I realized after a while that if Chase was to be potty-trained it would require 1) us not being lazy parents and 2) a team effort.

A couple weeks ago while heading home I ran into some girlfriends. These are mainly stay-at-home moms who organize all the neighborhood moms to get together for playdates, birthday parties, and so on. While I’m not always able to partake in the various activities, I do enjoy the times we can get together and chitchat. These two moms in particular also have boys (two and three years old), and we got on the topic of potty training. I expressed my feelings of helplessness, while also admitting the passive role Derek and I had taken in this process. What I love about these women is that they’re not at all judgmental. They acknowledged that it is a difficult time, and sometimes this can lead to avoidance. They gave me some advice that I found interesting: Offer Chase rewards every time he goes to the potty. That way he has something to look forward to, and it becomes fun and exciting for him too. Hmmm. Rewards? Okay, I am the psychologist here – behavioral shaping, reinforcement, and conditioning is what I do! Why didn’t this occur to me first?

That night I spoke to Derek about my conversation with my mom friends. He was pretty much on-board with whatever I wanted to do. So the next day, at the grocery store, I bought a whole bunch of things that I knew Chase would enjoy, and filled a basket with “treats,” including little Hot Wheels cars, stickers, small Halloween sized candies (#dontjudgeme), and little snack packs of Teddy Grahams (his favorite). After work that evening I introduced the Treats Basket. Every time Chase does #1 in the potty he picks out one treat, and if he does #2 he can pick out two! The Treats Basket sits on top of our space saver in the bathroom.

It’s been about two weeks since we introduced the Treats Basket. I am excited to report that Chase asks to go to the potty every day after work and throughout the day on the weekends. He has gone #2 in the potty twice during that time! (Yes, we were so excited we practically did back flips). The second time he did #2 he went completely on his own, calling me from the living room to come to the bathroom. I was delighted (albeit slightly grossed out – but I didn’t let it show :) ) to find a messy diaper stuffed into the waste basket, his pants around his ankles, and poop smeared all over the potty and floor. He was beaming so proudly as he showed me his attempts to use the potty on his own. I had never felt so happy to see poop in my life.

As you can see from the picture, Chase has earned quite a few Hot Wheels cars as well as other treats. He takes so much pride in not only earning these treats, but in being able to use the potty like a “big boy.” While I am sure there are many ways to potty train, and some that don’t involve blatant bribery, I’m thrilled that we’ve found a method that seems to be working for our family. I’ll keep ya’all posted on how potty training with “treats” goes.

It’s Almost Here – Mom’s Nite Out 2011

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Hey ya’all!!!

I am so excited for the 3rd Annual Mom’s Nite Out!  You’ve probably noticed I’ve been buzzing about it all over Twitter, Facebook, and Prissy Reviews!  It’s taking place this Thursday, May 5, 2011 and there will be celebrations nationwide.  This year I’m co-hosting the event with Roosevelt Field Mall and we’ve got a TON of exciting activities, generous discounts, and fun surprises in store for ya’all.  We’re celebrating motherhood and all the amazing things we do as moms, and I really want all of you (my NYC and NJ moms) to be there!

I hate keeping secrets from you gals, but I’m not able to reveal it all… so here’s a little sneak peak of some of the goodies you can expect to find at the mall next Thursday:

~ free makeovers and beauty demonstrations from Aveda, Bare Escentuals, Loccitane, & The Body Shop

~ generous food sampling from Auntie Anne’s (Yum! Can you say Cinnamon Sugar Pretzels?), Jamba Juice, La Bottega, & Legal Sea Foods

~  live music and dance performances

~ spectacular store savings from some of my fav retailers like:

Charles David & Ann Taylor ~ 20% off regularly priced items at each store

Accessorize  ~ $10 off your purchase of $40 or more

Gap ~ Up to 50% off your entire purchase

Juicy Couture ~ FREE Juicy Couture tote with any purchase

Lane Bryant ~ 40% off store wide

What’s cool about these great savings is that the event takes place BEFORE Mother’s Day this weekend. *hint, hint* See where I’m going?  Perfect time to find a special gift for your wife or mom, right!!??

If you come by to check out the event (and I hope that you do!), you must stop by my table to say hello and, if you like, let’s take a photo together. :-)  Oh, did I mention that I’ll be giving away over $1000 in prizes sponsored by Pampers, Fisher-Price, Hasbro, Mega Brands, Disney, and more!!?

Local Event Sponsors:
North Shore LIJ
StriVectin
Huntington Learning Center

Media Partners:
PrissyMommy.com
NYMomsWorld.com
Hempstead.MacaroniKid.com
Long Island’s 98.3 KJOY


I will also be accepting donations throughout the evening for Graham’s Foundation, an organization that supports families of micro-preemie babies.

About Mom’s Nite Out

National Mom’s Nite Out is the first nationally organized celebration just for moms. The country-wide festivities are intended to bring together today’s moms, both physically and virtually. Details of all the exciting events can be found at www.MomsNiteOut.com.

About Roosevelt Field Mall

Roosevelt Field offers Bloomingdales, JCPenney, Macys, Nordstrom and more than 245 specialty stores, including Aeropostale, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, The Disney Store, Gap, The Limited, Victorias Secret and many more.  The mall is located at the intersection of Old Country Road and Meadowbrook Parkway.  ”Like” Roosevelt Field Mall on Facebook for updates and special promotions!

Chase in the Drummer’s Circle

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In our little corner of Harlem, West African-style drummers have formed a circle and played for decades in the park every Saturday.   Others provide accompaniment on trumpets, flutes, spoons, cowbells, gourd rattles and tambourines.   This Drummer’s Circle is a ritual that began in 1969.

Whenever we take Chase to the park and he hears the drums from a distance, he asks to walk over.  Ever since he’s been a baby, when he feels a rhythm he moves.  He has a connection to music that is deep and inherent.  So naturally, at the Drummer’s Circle, he begins to dance and sway, which elicits approving nods and claps from the elders.

This past weekend he was invited to join the musicians in the Drummer’s Circle.  My heart swelled with pride as he played his first congo drums.  What an honor!

Chase @ 2 Years, 4 Months

What Derek and I were most impressed with was the fearless way he walked into that circle.  And when they invited him in, it wasn’t to just dance and be a “cute little toddler.”  They recognized something in him.  We strongly believe that.  It was a connection that like souls have.  And according to Derek, just before Chase walked into the Drummer’s Circle to accept their invitation, he looked back at him… not with shyness, uncertainty, or even to ask permission.  But rather, with a look that said, “Well I don’t know what ya’all are about to do, but I’m going to join them in this circle.”

When he played, it was with confidence and joyful abandon.  It was like he had come “home.”

While the community we live in may indeed be “regentrified” in ways, we are happy this wonderful tradition lives on.  And I am so glad our boy is experiencing first-hand such a rich and important part of his cultural history.

Easter Shenanigans

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Young Derek Circa 1977 (or somewhere thereabouts)

 

My husband was quite the athlete growing up. Not to brag or anything, but he was that strong, good-looking, all-American boy who excelled at sports – baseball and basketball were his favorites. As a boy he participated in Little League, coached by his dad, and honed his skills in sports camps over the summer. In high school Derek continued to shine as an all-star player and he was even flown out to Hawaii in his junior year to play in a basketball tournament. The family room of his parents’ home today is over-flowing with trophies from his past state championships.

He credits his dad with instilling his love for sports, as well as respect for education, from an early age. This sense of competition served Derek well growing up as a star athlete, and everyone thought for sure he’d accept one of the athletic scholarships he was offered and continue playing at a major university. However, he shocked them all by choosing to accept a full academic scholarship to a small private school in DC. Oh yeah, did I mention Derek is super smart too? And, at this point in his life, he wanted to be taken seriously as an academician before anything else.

But I digress – the point of this post wasn’t to brag about how awesome and amazing and talented my man is (although really he is).

Throughout his entire life of playing sports Derek never sustained any serious sports injuries. Sure, he had the occasional muscle pull or knee strain – but never any broken bones or injuries that required an emergency room visit or hospitalization. Maybe he was lucky, or perhaps some higher power was looking out for him. Whatever the case, he managed to go almost 40 years without doing any serious damage to his body.

Until he had a toddler, that is…

We had an amazing Easter weekend. We spent the day with my in-laws for an Easter dinner and combined 60th birthday celebration for his dad. All the cousins and aunts and uncles were at the house, and it was a good time of fellowshipping and enjoying the gorgeous spring day. Chase had the most fun of all – though he is the youngest of his cousins, that certainly didn’t stop him from racing with them around the house, learning to skip rocks in puddles (smh), and keeping up with the “big kids.” Of course, as toddlers tend not to be, he wasn’t always mindful of surrounding dangers and so Derek remained close, keeping a watchful eye on him lest he venture into unsafe territory.

In the throes of his excitement, Chase suddenly decided that it wasn’t enough to just circle around the house with the other kids. Somehow he got the idea that it might be fun to veer off and dart into the street at full speed. Always prepared, Derek sprinted after him and fortunately managed to grab him as he leapt off the curb.

Derek With Temporary, Emergency Room Cast

However, the second time it happened (oh, did you think Chase had learned his lesson after the first?), in the process of saving our very oblivious, not-a-care-in-the-world toddler, Derek ended up slipping in a patch of mud on the driveway. As he went down, he recalls that his only thought was to brace the full impact of the fall with his arm. Well, he managed to do just that, but having his 6’3″, 200-something lbs. frame landing on his left arm resulted in it breaking in two places – requiring a cast, a sling, and a very strong prescription for Percocet.

Now that I’ve embarrassed him thoroughly, please send Derek well wishes as he deals with his first broken bones in life ever. In addition to a fractured elbow and broken forearm, we’re waiting to hear back from the orthopedist about whether or not his hand will also require surgery.

Can life get any more ironic? Priceless.

And how was your Easter?