Playing Catch Up

Posted on September 16, 2011 by Yakini

Family Portrait – August 2011 (Oh well, at least I look great)

This is one of those blog posts you do out of guilt. I was chatting with a fellow blogger friend the other day and she shared with me that she missed my updates. She wondered how the boys were doing… had they started school yet? How is their relationship, are they closer now that Bryce is a little older? In general, what the heck is going on with all of us?

I definitely owe everyone a detailed and thorough catch-up post. Unfortunately, this won’t be that. But I will update ya’all on a few things because I miss you guys and want you to know I haven’t disappeared for good. I’m just in the middle of so many projects and I’m really having to prioritize how and wear I spend my free time online, ya know?

Okay, so here are the important things:

Right now I’m enjoying teaching Chase to read. Okay, well we’re not there quite yet. So let me back up a little. Right now he’s learning to identify his upper case letters. Once he’s got that, we’ll move on to lower case letters… then phonemes. I’ve been a lazy parent up til now, but my mom and dad taught me and my sisters to read by 3 years old, and my older sister Nab’s son, Garvey, was reading by 3 as well. Both my parents and my sisters worked with us/him, which is how it happened. So I realized that if I want Chase to have a head start as well I’ve gotta do more than what I was doing… which was nothing. So he is taking to it surprisingly well. This is only Week 2 and he already knows letters A-D. Yeaaah!!! We’re having fun with it, and I’m trying hard to keep it light and pressure-free. I’m hoping by his 3rd birthday, in January, he’s got his upper and lower case letters down, and beginning to learn their associated sounds. Tips anybody? (And don’t you DARE mention that “My Baby Can Read” bologna. #HatedIt)
Potty training updates. So… yeah. I’ve pretty much given up on that with Chase. They can do what they do at day care, and when he feels like going at home, he’ll go. *throwing up hands in defeat* I was finding that I was losing my patience, because I know that he is capable of going physically… like, he can feel the urge, stop what he’s doing, walk to his potty in the bathroom, pull down his pants, sit and use it, then call for help. I know because, when he feels like it, he does it. So knowing that he can do it was causing me to feel really frustrated, annoyed even, when he wouldn’t do that. So I stopped “trying” to potty train and have just accepted that he’ll start going regularly when he’s ready. Just because someone is capable physically doesn’t mean they’re emotionally there. And Im sure me being angry about it wasn’t helping him. Derek really wasn’t doing anything anyway, so nothing really will have to change there. (Derek, don’t shake your head in disbelief as you read that… you know you weren’t! lol)
Most of my “leisure time” (and I use that phrase loosely) has been channeled into Style Me Prissy. I’ve loved transitioning into a fashion/style blogger… it just feels right, I’m really excited about it, and it’s going well, in terms of readership and traffic-wise… but I’m still trying to decide where I want to ultimately take it. I see so much potential in Style Me Prissy, and I’m excited about that. But right now it’s a tossed salad of personal style, celebrity style, looks for less, and random fashion photos and commentary that peak my interest. I guess there’s nothing wrong with a blog that is a potpourri of sorts. But I feel like, in order to take it to the next level, I really need to map out where I’m going exactly. A business plan, of sorts. So I’m working on that.
Bryce is cute and sweet as can be. I love that his personality is so calm and laid back and chill. His brother, on the other hand…. Chase has his days where he is a great listener and so considerate and lovely. He loves to give Bryce hugs and make him laugh. And then there are days when he is testing the limits like crazy… leaping across furniture like an animal…. wrestling with his friends at school…. and pinching or swinging at Bryce on the sly. *smh* So we just have to keep our eyes on the boys when they play. But I will say that their relationship has come a long way. They laugh so much when they’re together, and that makes me happy. I just can’t wait til Bryce gets a little more height and weight on him so that he can hold his own with his big brother.
You’ll remember from the video of Bryce’s first steps that I was wearing Lasik goggles. Well, yes, I did have the surgery and am so far extremely pleased with it. My vision is now 20/15 and everyday I still can’t believe that I no longer need glasses or contacts. Although it’s been over a month, I still find that I’m pushing my “glasses” up the bridge of my nose, out of habit, or still thinking I need to take my contacts out before I go to sleep. Aaaah yes, it’s a beautiful thing. Makes me wonder why I waited this long. Anyhoo, I’d definitely recommend it if you’re on the fence. Who knew it could be so great to open up your eyes, in the middle of the night, and actually be able to read the alarm clock on the night stand?

So that’s pretty much it for my updates. What’s up with you?

Yes, Moms Have Fun Too

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Yakini

Old School Mommy & Chase ~ Circa 2009

On the weekends we make every effort to get out of the house and do something fun as a family. Chase had a birthday party to attend this past Sunday, but Saturday was wide open. So after the boys woke up from their nap we decided to do a little shopping and sightseeing outside the city. I wanted to check out the little boutique where Derek had found a cute vintage Gucci clutch and Escada bracelet for me last year. I was eager to see what else they had. So we went to the shop, which ended up being a tad expensive for my liking, and then afterward went to Pizzeria Uno to eat.

As always, getting the boys settled at the table was a bit of a production – no more drama than usual though. First they brought us to a booth, then we determined that two highchairs at the end of the table wasn’t safe, and we finally settled into a private little corner table where there was space to park the stroller, place my bags, and set up the high chairs.

I was in full-on mom mode, directing and guiding and not allowing myself to get comfortable until everyone was situated. I decided to get Chase the kids cheese pizza along with a side of fries, and Bryce would eat his Stage 3 food I’d packed and also munch on some of Chase’s fries. There was a brief little scuffle over who got to color on the one kids menu that the hostess had brought out, but it was resolved when Chase threw the menu across the table and lost those privileges. By that point I was eager to relax and enjoy myself. After Derek looked at the drink menu he decided to go with a Long Island Iced Tea. I was on the verge of announcing that I wanted a lemonade – my usual safe drink when we’re out together as a family…. but something struck me and I decided to go with a Pina Colada. Yum! Pina Coladas always make me happy, maybe because I associate them with being on a Carribean Island, which is usually the only time I order one. Ordering this drink was kind of a big deal for me so, my usual indecisive self, I asked Derek if I should get it and of course he thought it was a good idea.

The waitress came over and asked for drink orders first. Derek ordered his Long Island Iced Tea, and she jotted it on her pad wordlessly. I ordered two apple juices for the boys then, barely able to contain my glee, said I’d try a Pina Colada. The waitress paused for a moment. She looked at me, smiled kindly, and asked if that would be virgin?

So let’s recap, just so we’re all clear…. this young, barely 20-something waitress gave me a once over and then, in a gentle tone, proceeded to ask if I wanted a virgin freaking drink!

Well, I’m pretty sure I didn’t look pregnant, and I certainly don’t appear to be under 21, so I can only surmise that she took in my appearance – hair pulled back, glasses slipping down nose (still a bit disheveled from the brief chaos of getting the boys situated), maybe dressed too sensibly and mom-ish – and thought that I wasn’t cool enough to order an alcoholic drink? Then I thought, or maybe she just doesn’t think a mom should/would order alcohol when out with the kids? But it’s okay for dad to order a drink as notoriously alcohol-heavy as a LI Iced Tea?

Whatever the case – the nerve!

I hesitated now, second-guessing myself, and glanced over at Derek. I wanted to make eye contact so he could read my incredulous facial expression that said: “Dude, did this chick really just ask me if I wanted that non-alcoholic? She didn’t question your Long Island Iced Tea!” But he was looking away – either avoiding eye contact or maybe in his own world.

So I turned back and smiled and told her that I would like a regular Pina Colada. She smiled back and said okay, then turned on her heel to walk away. No big deal, just like that.

Of course, I obsessed about it afterward for a short while. “What about me screams virgin Pina Colada?” I probed Derek. He didn’t have an answer. He didn’t agree or disagree with my theories, but just said that it was no big deal.

My drink came and it was delicious – albeit on the weak side. (Of course, at this point I’m paranoid, and thinking that she told the bar to make me a weak one because she didn’t think I could handle anything stronger).

*smh* This is why I don’t even bother sometimes. Next time I’ll probably just stick with my lemonade. Kidding! Honestly though, I’m so over always getting the “safe” drink (in life) and, after two little ones who are both almost past the baby stage, I’m ready to start letting my hair down again – proverbially speaking. Whether I look like a conservative school marm that day or like I stepped out the pages of Glamour Mag… whether we’re having date night or out with the kids, I’ve resolved that I’ll order what I please (within reason) and frankly, won’t let anybody’s side-eye stop me.

On Having All Boys

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Yakini

It was a particularly rough morning. Chase was in rare form. In the midst of Derek getting him dressed for school he decided that he didn’t want to take off his undershirt. He wanted to keep on the undershirt he’d slept in last night to wear under his school clothes. We tried to reason with him, explaining that this undershirt was dirty and we had a fresh, clean one that he would put on with his clean outfit. However, he started bucking and kicking and hysterically shrieking “No!!!!” Bryce was nearly kicked in the face and, though we eventually got him dressed, he didn’t go down without a good fight.

A few minutes later I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, shaking my head, and wondering if this was any indication of how the rest of the day would be. I already had my daycare speech in mind – see, I like to warn his teachers when he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, so they know to be more sensitive with him and understanding of any extreme behaviors he might engage in.

After washing my face I took my hair down out of the bun I sleep in. Chase casually sauntered into the bathroom as I was removing hair pins. He had already refused to brush his teeth this morning, which is why I was doing our normal bathroom routine alone. He eyed me coldly as I combed my hair down around my face. Then he smiled.

“Mommy, beautiful!”

I started. Beautiful? I didn’t even know that word was in his vocabulary. I beamed with happiness, his early morning antics becoming a distant memory. ”Thank you Chase!” I gushed.

He cocked his head to the side and studied me thoughtfully. ”Mommy, you look like a ballerina,” he stated in a serious tone.

“Aww, Chase – that is nice!” And it really was. That’s the highest form of a compliment, coming from Chase. Ever since Kiki from the Fresh Beat Band dressed as a ballerina in the holiday episode, he’s taken a special interest in ballerinas – he refers to any beautiful lady who is dressed up as a ballerina. He had never called me a ballerina before.

Then he said, “No, no! You look like a princess, mommy! You’re a princess!”

I didn’t know he knew what a princess was! Awww! Now my heart was melting – I’m a sucker for a compliment. So sweet! To be called beautiful, a ballerina, and a princess in one morning by my toddler was just so lovely. I always knew he liked to see my hair down. It’s rare, as I usually have it pinned up into a bun. So he enjoys it very much.

I called out to Derek that Chase had called me a princess, and a ballerina… he was still a tad annoyed from Chase’s earlier behavior, but was duly impressed. He knows that Chase takes such compliments very seriously.

I was still thinking about it later at work. I smiled every time I replayed the bathroom scene in my head. Honestly, it got me to thinking about how nice it just might be to have boys after all. I remember being pregnant and telling folks I was having boys – I heard over and over the same statement: “Boys – they love their mothers!” I think I’m just now realizing what that means. I joked with Derek on the phone, “Hmmm, this being the only girl in the house thing may not be so bad. Having all my boys adore me and dote on me and call me a princess and a ballerina? I’ll take it!”

It also got me thinking about just how sweet and kind Chase can be when he isn’t being obnoxious (yes, I said it). It’s these fleeting moments of sweetness that get me so excited about the days when the Terrible Twos (and Terrifying Threes) are over – when his need to assert his independence isn’t so forceful, and calm, pleasant behavior is the norm. This morning it felt like I got a little sneak peak into the personality that lies beneath the mad man. Sure, Derek and I get our share of suppressed giggles when he’s screaming out “No!” and doing his toddler thing. But it can be emotionally (and physically) draining, and I do look forward to the day when everything isn’t met with opposition.

Yeah, I could get used to this all boys thing. *smile*

Happy Birthday to Me + 32 is the new… 32!

Posted on April 3, 2011 by Yakini

Thank you to my sisters for these decadent chocolate-covered cherries!

I jokingly wrote that 32 is the new 32 because nowadays folks are quick to talk about 40 being the new 30, 30 being the new 25, and so on. I embrace my age today because I'm so completely content with where I am in life. There isn't a thing I would change, and I feel good about that!!!

31 was amazing for me! I did so many cool things, especially with regards to this blog – most noteworthy, of course, was the feature in American Baby Magazine and ripping the runway on The Wendy Williams Show. BUT the highlight of the year was this biggie right here!

Heading to the hospital to have Bryce last August

Bryce at 1 Day Old

Goodness, sometimes you forget how tiny they were!

This weekend Derek and I celebrated my birthday and it was such a fun time! We went to one of our favorite little bars and then out to eat. I was pretty much tore up after ONE (you read right) Fuzzy Navel at the bar and really wanted to go home and put my pajamas on and go to sleep – but I refused to go out like a sucka. So I made myself go on to the restaurant, and was glad I did. I had the Lobster Penne Pasta and it was soooo delicious! The music was good, and I can't remember the last time I talked and laughed so hard (in the company of grownups, that is). I needed that!

I went through a couple outfit choices (since we were up in the air about where we wanted to go even just before walking out the door). But I posted the final outfit selection over at Style Me Prissy – so tell me what ya'all think! I wanna know if 32 looks as good as it feels!

Here's a lil peak at how it went down last night:

No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. That's 4 1/2".

P.S. Thank you and big (((HUGS))) to everyone who has stopped by to comment and/or join me on Google Friend Connect over on the new blog. I love ya'all – I mean it!

Great Life, Boring Blog

Posted on February 23, 2011 by Yakini

I've been thinking about the direction this blog has taken. I have to be honest with you – I'm surprised anyone still reads. I post so sporadically and when I do I feel my writing lacks the energy and spontaneity it once had.

When I started with the whole "mom blogging" thing I wasn't new to the blogosphere. I'd been blogging for nine years already, on a close-knit, private community called Xanga. It was fun, it was supportive, it was intimate. But as life would have it, folks went their separate ways and, while many of us remain friends on and offline, our little community as we knew it dissipated. And though I was no longer blogging, life continued to happen. Derek and I discovered we were expecting, and a boy no less, and I realized I still had much to say. This time I sought a more public sphere – and I dove excitedly into what today is The Prissy Mommy Chronicles.

With Chase every little detail was enthralling – each milestone so novel and exciting. I blogged throughout the pregnancy, unabashedly sharing my reflections on pregnancy, my hopes and wishes for the baby, any trepidation I experienced, my fantasies about motherhood… Then when Chase was born I blogged about the first time he ate solids, when his first tooth appeared, his first episode of stranger anxiety, when he first played in the snow, his first haircut. Every teeny tiny milestones was so special and each developmental phase fodder for a new blog post.

When I became pregnant with Bryce, Chase was but a baby himself. And the blog centered around transitioning to a household of four, a mom of two boys. I wondered how Bryce's arrival would impact Chase – how it would impact our family… and that became my obsesh for the time.

Bryce was born and…. it's not that those same "firsts" aren't special or important. Amongst ourselves, Derek and I chattered excitedly about his first smile… we practically melt when we hear that sweet, infectious baby laugh… our hearts swelled with pride the first time he sat up on his own, and just last week when he babbled something that vaguely resembled "Dada." We took video footage of his first time eating solids yet… I didn't bother posting it online.

I wonder why?

Well, I suppose I no longer feel that I "need" the same support (or validation?) that I did with my first child. Secondly, well, when I blogged about those "firsts" with Chase it was fresh and brand new, so it took little to no effort for everyday occurrences to manifest into witty, interesting blog posts. But now having written those blog posts, I find that I've lost the motivation to do it again. While we celebrate Bryce's "firsts" as a family, I realize I don't have the same energy – or desire – to recreate similarly cute little anecdotes about Bryce's experiences.

I feel so ashamed writing that.

I created this blog as a virtual baby book, and I don't want my boys to ever look back and see an imbalance. But it's become that. There are more blog posts about Chase, more pictures of Chase, more videos of Chase. I love my boys the same. I'm in love with Bryce, just as I'm in love with Chase. But…. I guess I'm over blogging about the exact same things. It kind of feels like "been there done that, bought the t-shirt."

I'm not saying I don't want to be a mom blogger anymore. I guess I'm just reflecting aloud my realization that it takes a whole lot more to get me energized to write about the things I used to write about. I wonder how to get that back, or if I should strive to get back something that perhaps I've evolved past?

I think a lot about renewing some of my former interests. Once upon a time I was a pretty big influencer in the black hair care community. I was quite active on hair care messageboards, and super invested in educating others about healthy hair that grows, helping ladies achieve their hair goals, and I stayed on top of my own regimen. Having grown out over-processed, shoulder length hair to waist length, I was happy to freely give back to others who wanted the same. So I kept a hair journal that I updated with progress pictures regulaly, and made myself an available resource for those who sought the same.

I don’t do any of that today, and it baffles me. I miss those days. And I'm wanting to focus on some of those things again. I just hope Bryce never looks back and wonders why he didn't get the same attention on this blog that his brother did.

I'm not sure where I was going with this post. It certainly wasn't intended to be an apology or an excuse for my lacklustre attitude toward blogging these days. I think I just needed to think aloud about the direction of this blog, and where I'd like to take it.

I'm going to put more thought into this….

Chase Says A Bad Word

Posted on January 31, 2011 by Yakini

Every morning Chase wakes up around 6 am and calls out for me. I'm always awake and this morning was no different. I hurried out of bed and into his room before his summons grew louder, awakening Bryce (who usually gets up around 6:15 am). When I flicked on the light Chase was grinning and sitting up in bed under the covers.

"Good morning Chase!" I greeted him in my usual singsongy voice. I smothered his face with kisses.

"Hi Mama," he chirped back happily (which indicated he had woken up in a "good mood." On other days, my cheerful greeting is met by a dramatic "NO!")

"How did you sleep, Chase? Did you have a good night?"

"Yes," he said sweetly. "Mommy, milk. Milk, please."

"Okay, Mommy's going to get your milk now, okay?"

I returned with his sippy cup of 1% milk that he enjoys first thing each morning (akin to your morning cup of coffee) and he took it and began to drink thirstily. While he drank I turned to the diaper stacker to grab a pamper along with his school clothes. I glanced over at my darling angel and smiled at him. I love our special, quiet morning routine. He paused from drinking, smiled, and blurted out:

"Aww man! F*ck!"

I stared at him, open-mouthed.

"What did you say, Chase?" Because surely I had heard wrong. And shame on me, for my dirty mind!

With feeling and enunciation, "Aww man! F*ck!"

I stood frozen, unsure of what to do next.

"Aww man! F*ck!"

His final proclamation jarred me out of my stupor. I always knew this day was coming. I just didn't know it would happen so soon. Toddlers have an uncanny way of picking up words – all words – that they hear. And these days, between his various school and home interactions, we never know what will come out of his mouth… but it's always been funny, sweet, or charming.

Chase beamed proudly at me, awaiting the approval that he knew was coming.

I uttered my words slowly and rather clumsily. "Chase, it's okay to say 'Aww man.' But we don't say 'f*ck,' okay?" I deliberately kept my tone calm. The goal was to not alarm him or let on how dismayed I actually was. From past experience, I've learned that the stronger my reaction [to his inappropriate behavior - be it hitting, screaming, or whatever] the greater the likelihood that it'll be repeated. Getting a big rise out of mommy and daddy is the #1 reinforcer for Chase, as he sees this as hilarious and an exciting new way to tease/challenge us.

Chase was a little confused that I didn't reward him with smiles and compliments (as we frequently do) for using this new vocabulary word. He nodded in agreement and continued drinking his milk. Since I don't use that kind of language (ever) I suspected that I knew the source of his verbal faux pas. I slipped out of the room and went into our bedroom to let Derek know that his son had dropped the f-bomb.

Derek appeared shocked by my announcement and we discussed how we would move forward. We agreed that we wouldn't make a big deal should it happen again. In the event that it does, we decided we'd casually repeat: "Aww man, fudge!" in the hope that he would believe he'd heard the original word wrong. Since Chase loves learning new words and is really motivated to pronounce them correctly, we figured this could be effective – if executed cleverly and skillfully. God, I hoped we'd be able to "re-train" him before he utters that word at school. The last thing I want is a call home from the director of the daycare about our 2-year-old's potty mouth at school.

Derek called me at work later that morning and sheepishly stated, "I think I know where Chase learned that word."

I just smiled quietly from my end. I knew Derek would be honest and own up to this.

"Remember two weeks ago, when the car was towed?"

"Yeah, I remember. That was very stressful."

"Well, when I was carrying Chase down the street…. and I realized the car was gone…. I think I may have whispered "F*ck!"

"Oh Derek… How do you know you did?"

"Well… because he repeated 'F*ck' then."

"What!? You didn't tell me that."

"Yeah, well I told him not to say it again."

"Oh okay. That was a little while ago. I was thinking maybe yesterday, when you had the two boys at home by yourself while I was at the salon, that you may have gotten frustrated and said it then…?"

"No, it was when the car was towed. He has a really good memory these days."

Okay, so there it is. Chase's first curse word. It's unfortunate that we've determined that "tricking" our son will be more effective than letting him know that we don't use that kind of language in our family. However, at his age and stage of development (TERRIBLE TWOS), it's better that he not be informed that something is "forbidden."

I returned to Chase's bedroom and we continued our routine, singing songs and chattering excitedly about the fun things in store at school today. As he loped out of the room in his big boy varsity pants, with his big boy haircut, and his big boy snow boots… I stared after him and felt a tinge of melancholy. Little by little, he is becoming less of a baby and more of a big boy. And along with that his innocence is going too. It's happening too fast and I'll be the first to admit I'm not ready for this.

While Chase's little transgression is a simple fix it was a necessary and welcome reminder that we need to be cognizant of the values we want to instill in our boys. They are always watching and listening. And it's not enough to simply tell them what's right, we must lead by example. Today it was repeating a swear word that he heard daddy say. But over the weekend he begged for cookies for breakfast because he caught mommy eating Oreos out the bag at 8 am after he followed me into the kitchen. I think Derek and I needed this to happen so that going forward we are both more mindful of the choices that we make. Our little boys are looking to us for guidance and, like sponges, they are soaking everything up. Everything.

Wordless Wednesday

Posted on January 5, 2011 by Yakini

Chase @ 23 Months, Bryce at 4 Months

Chase actually was extending his arm out to push Bryce away (in annoyance), but it looked like a punch in the video. Fortunately, Bryce was not hurt – he was surprised more than anything. We all were!

This video was recorded about a month ago and it's taken me that long to be able to watch it without getting upset. It looks so much worse than it really is. Now I can look back on it and smile, because Chase loves his little brother so much and the video is quite deceiving! He is so sweet, playful, and affectionate with him.

I appreciate this footage because it's something we can tease Chase about later in life! I'm glad Derek didn't delete it a month ago like I begged him to!

2010 Year In Review

Posted on December 28, 2010 by Yakini

Chase @ 23 Months & 2 Weeks, Bryce at 4.5 Months

With the end of 2010 quickly approaching I look back with fondness and nostalgia. It was an important year for my family – one marked by change and adjustments.

I enjoyed my second, and possibly last, pregnancy. We became a family of four and with that helped our toddler transition into the very important role of big brother. In retrospect, I think (our anticipation of) that transition was more difficult for us than him!

I love that my blog has served as a virtual baby book of sorts, capturing so many precious moments along the way. Time is something that we can never, ever have back – but I'll always have these moments I've tried my best to memorialize.

I appreciate you all, my readers, and love that I've established this wonderful community of good-hearted folks with whom to share these special moments. I invite you to reflect with me as I stroll down memory lane one final time in 2010.

January = Baby's First Walking Shoes

February = Motherhood Brings a Change of Heart

March = Tots & Toothbrushes & Tantrums… Oh My!

April = Sticking to Your Values as a New Mom

May = Taking Advantage of a Gorgeous Saturday

June = Baby's First Haircut

July = Last Family Outing as "Three"

August = Toddler Transitions ~ Life With the New Baby

September = Taking Care of Me Again

October = Halloween Fun at the American Museum of Natural History

November = So You Want to Write Product Reviews?

December = O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Special thank you to Jill of Scary Mommy, for this lovely idea, and feel free to Link Up with her if you'd like to participate!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Yakini

image source: Picture Book

I remember the year we had a real Christmas tree. It was maybe 1996 and I was around 15 or so. It was kind of a "big deal" in our family because we'd always had an artificial tree – a towering, 7 1/2 foot beauty that we lovingly trimmed from top to bottom and surrounded with cotton batting for snow. It was a good, quality tree and certainly no one could dispute that. Yet, there was always that longing for the real thing…. perhaps spawned by watching one too many holiday specials on TV, where the Norman Rockwell-esque family bundles up in the cold and hikes off to the tree farm to pick out the perfect tree. And the big, strong dad chops it down himself, while his wife and kids stand around, hands clasped in awe. Then the dad effortlessly hoists the tree over one shoulder, while wife and kids trail eagerly behind him, and they strap it atop their station-wagon and drive off into the sunset.

There just seemed to be something so magical about having a real tree…. and I always felt curious and slightly envious of families that had a real one. Like, somehow their Christmas was more authentic than ours, because they had the "real thing" and we were missing out on something secretive and exclusive and special by opting for an artificial one. So much of Christmas was already so commercialized, I thought… and having a "real tree" might bring some of that authenticity back. I'm thinking my mom felt that way a little too – or maybe she just wanted us kids to have a chance to experience the real thing one year? Well, after we made the decision that we were getting a real tree that year, my heart pounded with excitement. I couldn't stop fantasizing about the sweet aroma of fresh pine, how cool our presents would look piled underneath that big, tall pine, and how I would curl up in my pajamas next to the tree and read and sip my eggnog.

So we got our tree. She was a beauty – a grand old Nordman Fir, who stood at least 8 feet tall, and was oh so charming in its novelty! We brought her home and placed her in the living room, in a tree stand on our sparkling white carpet. And we decorated our gorgeous, REAL tree just as we would have decorated the artificial one. Shiny bulbs and ornaments, fancy tinsel and pretty bows, sparkling white lights, and topped with a gorgeous, ethnic angel. It was stunning – a sight to behold. The spirit of Christmas was certainly in the air that evening as we listened to our Motown Christmas cd, ate holiday treats and sipped cider, and lovingly placed our gifts under the tree. It was a fantasy come true. Over the next couple days folks came by to admire our "real" tree, and our hearts swelled with pride.

And then the honeymoon came to an end.

I'm not quite sure when it happened. I mean, there isn't an exact moment that I can pinpoint. But I suspect it was around the time entering the house after school started to become nauseating. What had once been the sweet smell of pine was replaced by a slightly annoying, sickening stench that permeated the entire house. Think, little car-freshner tree, new out the bag, with the windows rolled up. Yes – thick and stifling and overwhelming.

And the pine needles! God, the pine needles. I'm re-traumatized just thinking of all those pine needles. I think that tree must have shed about 700 pine needles every half hour. And, naturally, it became me and my older sister (Nab's) job to vacuum those needles up off that FREAKING WHITE CARPET every day, sometimes multiple times a day. That tree shed so many dang needless it was a wonder it didn't go bald. But, it didn't…. and we rotated whose turn it was to vacuum for that day, each equally desperate to get out of this annoying, monotonous EXTRA chore. My memory of events isn't so clear today… but I'm not sure if my mom was keeping the base of the tree immersed in water as she should have. I suspect this may have been the problem. The poor thing didn't stand a chance out of water, and it seemed that even walking lightly up to the tree caused it to shake slightly and shed more needles.

Also, I think people tend to forget that real trees (versus artificial ones) will not always grow perfectly straight from the ground. That just isn't how Mother Nature works. So our tree always appeared to be slightly leaned to one side which, of course, drove me crazy (yes, I was Anal Annie even back then). We would continually re-position it to make it appear nice and symmetrical. Perhaps the base wasn't level when it was cut? In any event, these were things we just hadn't thought about – maybe we assumed that these were issues that "other" people had with their Christmas trees, but that we wouldn't have to worry about.

When I walked past the living room now, if I glanced in at all it was with resentment. Short of the presents, I couldn't stand the sight of that big, pine monstrosity that came laden with so much drama and had caused my chore-load to seemingly double. Oooh, how I longed for our artificial tree back. So gorgeous and full and so pine needle and hassle-free. I thought about what fools we'd been – thinking that the grass was greener on the other side.

Of course, now that I'm older, I realize that with proper planning and TLC we wouldn't have had the issues that we had. Plus, there are so many websites available now to help you with Christmas tree care. BUT I realize also that I'd rather invest my time and energies into trimming my tree (which is enough work in itself) than spending any additional time in the upkeep. That is waaay too much drama for a low-maintenance lady like me. Mind you, I still LOVE a real tree – but in someone else's house…. where I am visiting…. and staying for a short time (not long enough to be suffocated by that pine smell).

This experience caused me to have a deep-seated respect for those folks who are willing to put in the extra work to maintain a beautiful, real tree. You guys rock! That one year with a real tree was enough to show me that, while the grass may indeed be greener on the other side, it's just as hard to mow. Give me an artificial, PRE-LIT tree any year. Thank you very much!

PrissyMommy.com

Category Archives: Reflections