Daycare Transitions

Posted on October 28, 2010 by Yakini

Bryce at 10 1/2 Weeks ~ Wearing his special "first day of school" outfit

So the time has come. Bryce officially started his "transition" week at day care.

A week prior to my return date he starts going to the child care center, a little longer each day, so that his teachers can get to know him and in turn he can get to know them. I remember like it was yesterday the emotions I experienced when Chase started this same transition: fear, trepidation, anxiety, and sadness, to name only a few. So funny the difference a couple years makes.

I now love, love, love the boys' daycare. Love it! The teachers are awesome – so warm, kind, and sweet-spirited. They love Chase and they love me. As a member of the Board of Directors, I feel like I have an active voice in decisions that are made that will affect my children. I also love that I'm just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the daycare, since it's on the grounds of the hospital I work at. Like, I'm literally 3 minutes away from the center.

So in the absence of all those other emotions I have only my sadness to deal with. I loved spending every single day with Bryce during his first few months of life. I'm Blessed knowing that some moms don't even have that long to be at home with their babe, but bummed that it's come to an end so soon. Weird – although my maternity leave felt "short," I feel like Bryce has been a part of our family for so long! Could it really be that only 11 weeks ago I was preggers? He is such a sweet, lovable, integral part of our family that I couldn't imagine our lives without him – and I know I speak for both Derek and Chase.

But I digress – so the transition is going well. Monday Bryce was there for 1 1/2 hours. On Tuesday he was there for 2 1/2 hours. Both days went well. Anxious mom that I am, I spent probably way too long explaining to them his sleep patterns, and how he acts in response to lack of sleep, and how they can best hold him and support him to get him to sleep. But they are so sweet that they just listened attentively and even took notes. It was a little surreal… I felt a sense of déjà vu, having gone through this with Chase not even two years ago.

They've assigned Bryce his cubby, but haven't taken his picture yet

So with my first day back to work just around the corner I'm feeling both prepared and unprepared. I'm trying to find solace in knowing that Bryce is in extremely good hands. Also, I know that it'll just be a matter of time before, like his brother, he is running away from me and tantrumming to stay longer when I come to pick him up!

Oh, So Random!

Posted on October 11, 2010 by Yakini

This post, that is!

Today Chase's daycare was closed for the holiday, but Derek's firm wasn't… soooo I had the boys to myself for the first part of the day. It wasn't as overwhelming as I feared it would be. In fact, it wasn't overwhelming at all. Though Bryce is more alert and active each day, he still sleeps for the greater part of the day. After he eats, plays for a bit on his activity mat, looks around (mainly staring at Chase, with a mixture of fear, fascination, and annoyance), stiffens his little legs and tries to stand up on my lap, gives me a few adorable smiles and coos… he is totally spent! He'll conk out for another hour (or two). So Chase and I had a really good time today – just me and him. It kind of felt like "old times," and I'd forgotten how much I missed that.

Shockingly, I even had time to switch Chase's summer clothes out for his fall/winter ones. That was past due, as I had become "that" parent whose child was coming to school inappropriately dressed and/or repeating the same clothes week after week (because he only had like 4 pants and a few long-sleeved shirts out). *smh* So yeah, I'm so glad I finally got that done! Goodness, who knew I could be so productive by myself at home, with both boys? I guess it goes to show that, until you're actually faced with the challenge, you don't know what you're capable of.

It was a little annoying hoisting that HUGE, heavy bin of fall/winter clothes from where it was stored behind our bed. But after asking Derek several times to get it out for me, and him repeatedly forgetting, I got tired of waiting and just did it on my own. My arms are still sore. *guilt trip in case he's reading this*

Ladies, you know how that is though… sometimes when we want something done, we want it done now.

Anyhoo, so once Chase went down for his nap at 12:30, it was just me and Bryce. After he woke up I couldn't resist trying on his Halloween costume AGAIN. Omg, cuteness!!!! LOL!!! I want so badly to tell you guys about our Halloween costumes this year…. but I'd rather it be a surprise. Of course, I've been dropping hints like crazy all over Twitter and FB, so some of you may know but… the big reveal will be on October 31st. I can't wait!

Oh, if you're a new reader, just fyi – I'm obsessed with Halloween!

So I go back to work in a couple weeks. I have mixed feelings about that. I will say it became a little tighter for us toward the end, primarily because we decided to keep Chase in day care (so as not to unsettle his life any more than need be), had bought a second car back in July that was very much needed, and also have kept the nanny on for a few hours a day – all this on one income for the last two weeks. So it's required some sacrifice and some smart money management. Going back to work will be a relief in terms of the additional income flowing into the household again, but boy will I miss these lazy days at home – cuddling with Bryce, enjoying every single new milestone and, of course, blogging my little heart out. Getting back into the groove of going to a 9-5 (well, an 8-4:00 in my case) will sure take some getting used to.

But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Muchas Smoochas!

Social Media Potpourri

Posted on October 2, 2010 by Yakini

Sometimes we put our foot in our mouth and wish dearly that we could wave a magic wand and take the moment back. But with social media that isn't always possible. And, in the end, you have to wonder whether that moment really should be undone? Sometimes difficult experiences are necessary as they contribute to a process of self-discovery and growth. I've been blogging for nearly 8 years now, and a "mom blogger" for two of those years, and still struggle with finding balance between what's appropriate to share, trying to enjoy candor with consideration, and all the while attempting to remain as authentic a person I can be. I'm a work in progress, and am so thankful to have readers and supporters of this blog willing to overlook the faux pas I will undoubtedly make along the way.

In other news… BLOGALICIOUS!!!

Geez, is it really next weekend? The time flew by. If you'll recall I was up in the air with regards to going and I've decided against it. Last year it became a pretty expensive weekend. Although my conference registration was sponsored by MomSelect, there were additional costs such as airfare for me and Derek plus hotel stay, car service to and from the airport, and so on. The weekend came close to $1000. It was a good time, I met many wonderful new blogger friends, and I was prepared to do it again… but in thinking about it realize it wouldn't be fiscally responsible for me to take that trip at this time. My 8 weeks of Family Medical Leave Act just ended, so my salary went from half pay to zilch, and there are 4 weeks remaining before I return to work.

So that pretty much was the deciding factor. I'm of course disappointed that I won't be physically present, but I sure am looking forward to following all my bloggy friends' tweets and FB status updates, and of course reading blog posts upon their return. I'll have to just enjoy and learn what I can vicariously through them! Oh! And I can't wait to hear where the MamaLaw ladies announce they're holding the conference next year. *Cough *NEW YORK PLEASE *cough*

Anyway, how could I leave behind these sweet faces?

Nanny Woes

Posted on October 1, 2010 by Yakini

Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.

I knew when our nanny began that she wouldn't be with us forever. But I thought when she left it would be organically – and on mutually agreed upon terms. I conveniently forgot that, being from another country, she would at some point return home to visit her folks. Nor did I realize such a visit would last so long… or maybe I just thought, narcissistically, that after falling in love with my kids she wouldn't be able to tear herself away.

Let me back up though, because I've skipped ahead. So Monday of this week Rosita was puttering around in the linen closet. Working on my laptop I paid her little mind. She cleared her throat. I didn't look up. Then she walked over to me somewhat tentatively. I finally looked up when I sensed someone hovering nearby. The conversation went something like this:

Rosita : I wanted you to know I will be leaving soon.

Me: *surprised* Oh?

Rosita: For (insert country). I am going home to visit my family.

Me: Oh yes – Derek's dad did mention that you go home throughout the year.

Rosita: Yes

Me: That's good, Rosita. When are you leaving?

Rosita: I am leaving December 5th. I will be gone for 2 months.

Me: *unable to contain my surprise* 2 months? Wow.

Rosita: Last time I went it was for a month and a half, and that wasn't long enough. So… I decided this time I would stay for 2 months.

Oh did you now?

Me: Oh…. okay. Well, that sounds like a nice trip.

Rosita: But I wanted to know when I come back will I have a job?

Me: *lying through my teeth* Of course, Rosita.

Rosita: Oh ok…. *nervous smile* Because I just want to know that I will have work.

Me: Sure, Rosita. I understand.

I feel compelled to mention that we have since discussed this and she of course understands now that the likelihood of her job being here upon her return is not good. My initial, less than honest response, I think, was based on being caught off guard and wanting to provide her with the reassurance that she was clearly seeking. I mean, who wants to say then and there, "No, it's not okay, and if you leave you're fired!" However, we've since talked and come to a clearer understanding of where things will stand upon her return.

The background is that Rosita has been with Derek's family for years, in the capacity of nurse-aid/housekeeper. The family grew close to both Rosita and her husband – who is quite handy and often fixes/builds things around their house. But recently his dad stopped needing her services. More so out of loyalty than anything, Derek decided to keep her on but with us instead. I protested that I didn't need a nanny – that I could make it work with the boys (I was thinking about the money aspect more than anything). But Derek insisted and in the end I was glad. After my mom left following Bryce's birth the transition was rough and Rosita proved invaluable. She gets here at 3 pm, at which time I leave to get Chase from day care. I made out a schedule of housework that she is to do daily, and she minds Bryce and gets that done. I get home (to a clean house) around 5:15 with Chase. I take Bryce from her and feed him and have him asleep by 6:15. Meanwhile, Rosita gives Chase a bath, prepares his dinner, and keeps him entertained until I come out of the room. I love her – she's awesome.

Chase adores Rosita. He's known her since he was a baby and is really attached to her. When I hear his peals of laughter while I'm in the room nursing Bryce it assuages my "mommy guilt" that I can't give him my 100% attention. When Rosita leaves at 6:30 I take over and give Chase my all – and that's our quality time. My house runs like a well oiled machine and I love it. So needless to say, I was quite shaken up by Rosita's announcement.

Then surprise turned to dismay…. and dismay turned to anger. And that turned to…. well, sadness. But let's revisit the anger. My initial reaction was, dude, I didn't even want to hire you to begin with. But Derek and his father insisted, and now my kid is all attached to you. Like, super attached. While we're driving home he's chanting "Ria, Ria!" And you were all sad when you were let go from your prior job with Derek's dad. And we took you on and have a great thing going…. and you're telling me you're leaving for 2 MONTHS and have the audacity to ask if you'll have a job when you come back? Really?

Yes, I realize that sounds unreasonable… crazy even. But I'm just sharing the stream of consciousness I experienced while processing this news.

I'm not a completely heartless monster. Reading that over I cringed, feeling like Ms. Millie from "The Color Purple" – the entitled superior grudgingly allowing her subservient time off to be with family. You see, I understand more than anyone how difficult it is to be separated from family. My family is all in Maryland, DC, and South Carolina while I live in NYC. I rarely see any of them. But even more striking than that, when my parents divorced years ago my dad left the country…. and I've seen him only a handful of times since. Everyday I miss him being in my life. We talk on the phone occasionally, but generally use email to keep in contact. With that said, I know the pain of being away from my folks. But guess what dude?

I also value my job – and I know that if I tell them I'm leaving for a couple months because I "miss" my family guess what? Yeah, exactly. I'd be replaced quicker than I could utter the four syllables in "psy-cho-lo-gist." Who does that… in these uncertain economic times?

*sigh* But like I said, the anger was quickly replaced by sadness. Chase isn't going to understand why his "Ria" is no longer here come December. And with me being alone to get the boys in their pj's, fed, and to bed…. I'm not going to be able to give them each the 100% that they need. However, that part I can manage, though I know it'll be rocky in the beginning. But certainly, by 2 months, I'll have established a comfortable groove and we'll no longer need Rosita's services. She doesn't come cheap, that's for sure. It will be helpful to have that extra money back in the account each month. So, unfortunately, her decision to take an extended vacay will cost her a job. She understands that. And it's sad because the boys and I will miss her a great deal. But life is about choices… and she's made hers. You snooze, you lose.

I'm not bitter.

Taking Care of Me Again

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Yakini

I bought a few clothes last week and it felt so good. This is unlike me as I'm normally way too cheap to buy anything for myself, clothing included. I'd rather make do with what's in my closet. However, my mom had just sent me a large box of new clothes. She is so sweet – she sent me an email with the store confirmation along with a little note saying "The babies aren't the only ones who should have new clothes," or something like that. Anyway, some of the things were too big and a few just weren't my style – so me and Bryce headed to the mall to make some exchanges.

I ended up getting a lot of really nice things – several pretty blouses and camisole sets. I had forgotten how long it'd been since I shopped for new clothes for me. As I excitedly rummaged through racks of clothes, it dawned on me that I've really been neglecting myself. When I got home that night I went through my closet and started pulling stuff out for Goodwill. I couldn't believe how bad some of my clothes looked – work clothes included. I felt so ashamed as I sorted out the things to throw away or give up. Some clothes were linty and old-looking… some things that had needed mending I had patched up with safety pins, just because I didn't have the "time" (or maybe it had just stopped being important) to sit down and stitch a little tear… some things had faded and were misshapen from one too many washes.

This past weekend I continued to sort through clothes. Sometimes I would go out into the living room and hold a dress up for Derek and ask him if I should keep it or pitch it? He just looked at my dresses and his face was a little sad. He said, "Sweetheart, we are going to the store to get you some more new clothes." The thing is, I'm a pretty girl – and with a great sense of style, if I do say so myself. And I remember taking so much pride in my appearance in the past. But… it's been many years since that time. I've neglected myself badly these last several years. And each time I tell myself it's time to step it back up, I start thinking about more "important" things I'd rather spend money on…. than myself.

It seems that with these few new clothing items has come a renewed sense of excitement and determination to "look good." Trying on those clothes in the mirror just felt…. exhilarating. We all deserve to wear things that are pretty and nice – looking your best feels good. And when you feel good inside you look better outside. I guess my priority has been the boys for so long, and I realize now that it's time to start taking care of "mommy" again. I want my boys to know that it's okay to take care of yourself – it's okay to treat yourself to a manicure, to go to a salon to get your hair washed (or, in their case, a barber shop), and it's okay to want to wear clothing that is stylish and attractive. But, before they can learn this very important lesson, they need to first see mommy taking care of mommy. And I'm ready now to start leading by example.

Remembering 9/11

Posted on September 11, 2010 by Yakini

This is a blog post I wrote back in 2006. I felt it appropriate to share on this momentous day in history. Comments have been closed on this post.

My thoughts and prayers going out to anyone whose family, friends, or acquaintances were affected in any way by the horrific events of 9/11. My prayers to all those who have had their souls torn apart by this. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers always.

As many of you know, this was a defining moment for me.

I had just moved to NYC (from a small suburb in Maryland) a few weeks prior for grad school….. and witnessed everything through the window of my apartment. On the morning of 9/11/01 I was on the phone with a close friend, who was at work and listening to the news. With great urgency, he told me to turn on the TV…. and from that point on, the day became a blur. Shortly after he called me we lost our connection, as the Verizon towers were destroyed (and, subsequently, many New Yorkers wouldnt have mobile or land-line service for the next weeks). I raced over to the window, stunned beyond belief. You see, I had a bird's eye view of the Twin Towers from my Brooklyn apartment, located right off the Manhattan Bridge.

I could do little else but stare transfixed at the horror unfolding before my eyes. I must have sat in the window for hours, just watching billowing clouds of black smoke and fire as the buildings burned and crumbled. I couldnt move, just stared….. and followed the news on TV. I suppose staying abreast of the events, minute by minute, second by second, was a way of masking my helplessness. I realized that I'd never truly comprehended hatred and evil, on a global level, until that day. I will never forget that day. I recall feeling very helpless, scared, and alone in this new, big city. I hadn't met any friends yet….. and was unable to get in contact with family back home via telephone or internet.

I didn't know anyone who died in the attacks, but nonetheless I felt that I had lost something irreplaceable. Perhaps it was my innocence, because I was never the same after 9/11.

After that, everything moved in slow motion…. fear, frenzy, and chaos overtook the city. Everything was so terrifiying around the time of the attack. When those planes hit the Twin Towers and they began to burn…. people on the top floors of the World Trade Center were flinging themselves out of the windows, in desperate hopes for survival, knowing they could never make it down the stairs in time. I have close friends who were midtown and saw the bodies of people jumping from windows 40+ flights up. They describe looking over their shoulder as they ran as fast as they could away from the scene…. They said it felt like they were characters in an awful, horrific movie.

The whole downtown was destroyed after the planes bombed…. and that day we (Brooklyn folks) did what we could to assist the thousands of terrified Manhattan workers/residents who had survived the attack and were making the trek over the bridge to safety in Brooklyn. We handed out bottled waters, first aid supplies, clean clothes, towels….. It was a tragic week for so many people, who lost friends, family, and loved ones. Thousands of innocent people died. People flocked to the Red Cross to donate blood and to volunteer in hospitals in any way that they could. New Yorkers came together, as a united people, in an amazing way.

After that we were on high terrorist alert for many months, and it took several years before things returned to "normal." In a way, they still haven't.

It's hard to believe that the 9th anniversary of 9/11 is upon us already. It really does feel like yesterday for me. I still can't talk or think about it for too long without growing misty eyed in remembrance… Im still too conflicted to watch the movies "United 93" or "Sept. 11th." I still treat clients who struggle with their own PTSD symptoms in response to that day. It truly was a trying time for all New Yorkers.

May we all use this anniversary as a time to reflect upon what it meant to each of us, and also to revive a memory that must never be forgotten.

Toddler Transitions ~ Life With the New Baby

Posted on August 24, 2010 by Yakini

Bryce @ 17 Days, Chase @ 19 Months & 3 Weeks

Hi Folks,

Several folks had asked about how Chase was adjusting to having a new brother and I will say that it's been a process but things have come a long way in these last three weeks. Derek and I are feeling good about how the transition is unfolding and optimistic that things will only get better. Things did start out rough. I realize now as I type this post that I'd been avoiding it because it's hard to think about those first several days home and the impact it had on our toddler.

When I came home from the hospital Saturday, August 7 I was so excited to see Chase. I'd missed him terribly and knew he was confused about why mommy had so abruptly disappeared. Derek and I had put a great deal of thought and preparation into my return home with the baby – we had many gifts and special surprises for him, hoping that he'd associate the baby's homecoming with fun and happy things. Obviously we knew it would come as a shock and hoped to somehow soften the blow for him. We also had family around who had been reminded to make a big fuss over Chase rather than just focusing all attention on the baby.

Chase was glad to see me but startled by this new "visitor" I had brought along. Things were fine as we all settled in the house – his grandmother and granddad were there to share in this special homecoming. He was curious but not overly excited by the baby – more tickled by the house full of folks and fun new toys. Things were going relatively smoothly until I tried to slip discreetly into the bedroom to nurse the baby. Obviously breastfeeding is a very intimate act and when Chase came looking for me he was caught off guard. He clambered onto the bed and lunged at us. His intentions weren't malicious at all – he just didn't understand what the baby was doing and was now awkwardly trying to nurse from the other breast. I was okay with letting him sit beside us but in his attempts to nurse alongside his brother he was wild and flailing and had to be pulled away lest he hurt Bryce. Over the next few days he wavered between superficial acceptance of the baby and physically acting out, (ie, attempting to scratch or throw blocks at the baby). We simultaneously received reports from day care that he was acting out there as well (not in terms of aggressive behavior, but more "regressive" – they noted that he was crying more and using more "baby talk").

Those first few days were roughest but things got better over the next weeks. Chase and his dad went on more fun father-son outings, which not only made him feel special but also kept him from being underfoot at home where he might be getting reprimanded for being "too rough." Chase eventually realized that the baby wasn't just visiting but in fact now lived here – and his curiosity was slowly replaced by interest… his irritation replaced by acceptance and fondness. He's also learning to gently touch in a positive way.

Now in the car ride from day care he asks about the baby and as soon as we enter the house he runs over to check on him. He likes to give kisses to the baby and now excitedly says, "Eat! Eat!" when the baby is nursing. He has become okay with me holding the baby because he realizes this is a fragile little creature.

This is not to say that there are no longer moments where he seems to feel left out and as a result becomes aggressive, but we try to minimize those times and his acting out has lessened. It's been extremely helpful that we maintained his same routine of going to day care (which he LOVES – and they adore him), Saturday morning classes at The Little Gym, and regular visits with his grandparents. We also don't put any extra pressure on him to be a "big boy" – we still try to pick him up and carry him when he gets in the mood, I let him choose between sleeping in his crib or toddler bed each night, and so on.

The transition for me has gone smoothly. My mom was here for the first couple weeks, which was incredible, and once she left our part-time nanny/housekeeper started. Chase has known Maria since he was a baby and he adores her. She gets here at 3 pm and stays with Bryce while I pick up Chase from daycare. I made up a detailed schedule of daily housekeeping tasks for her to do, which is a major weight off of me. When we get home Maria gets Chase bathed and prepares his dinner. I put Bryce to bed by 6 pm and then I take over with Chase and Maria leaves. It's really wonderful and I'm incredibly blessed – the house is clean and I can pour my 100% into my boys.

All in all we're both pleased with how Chase is transitioning and definitely looking forward to further integrating Bryce into our weekend outings and activities. However, I've explained to Chase that it's going to be a few months longer before his brother is "fun," and I think we're all looking forward to that time. Meanwhile, I must admit I'm thoroughly enjoying my maternity leave and trying to make the most of each day!

Nursing Baby… Second Time Around

Posted on August 12, 2010 by Yakini

I remember when I realized that breastfeeding didn't come easily for me. This was a hard pill to swallow for a "perfectionist" like me. It was in the hospital just following Chase's birth. I struggled to get Chase to latch on consistently… and he cried and struggled back because he wasn't getting the colostrum he needed due to my awkward, new mom fumbling. When he didn't regain his newborn weight right away my pediatrician "suggested" I supplement with a bottle after feedings, so I started pumping incessantly. I would follow up each (brief) nursing session with the bottle, and anxiously logged each of his feedings in my notebook. It looked something like this:

Monday, January 11

[2:30 pm] l breast, 2 minutes ~ r breast, 3 minutes ~ bottle, 3 oz.

Over the next few weeks I felt frustrated and sad and sometimes angry, but pressed on. When Chase began daycare he was bottle fed all day and nursed only at night and weekends. When he went on a "nursing strike" at 4 months that abruptly ended our breastfeeding relationship. He had grown attached to the ease and flow of the bottle. I felt dejected and as though I'd failed him. Derek didn't understand why it bothered me so much, since Chase was getting the nourishment he needed through pumped milk. I explained that it was the termination of a special relationship that I mourned.

In retrospect I know I wasn't prepared for breastfeeding. I'd made a mistake in assuming that me and the baby would just instinctively "click" and develop this great breastfeeding relationship. I guess that's because breastfeeding is such an age-old process… my sister did it with ease, my mom did it with ease, her mom, and so on. Were I to do it over, I would take a breastfeeding class offered by the hospital or our local prenatal yoga center. While we took all the other classes, I admit I kind of scoffed at this one because I figured things would easily fall into place. It would have been helpful to have been more knowledgeable about the process beforehand.

Prior to Bryce's arrival I spent time reading a lot about breastfeeding as a "refresher course." I came across an article in Washington FAMILY Magazine called Getting off to the Right Start: Breastfeeding Basics. It offered some excellent tips for new moms who really want to get this breastfeeding thing right – the first time around! The article notes that successful breastfeeding starts in the hospital – and reinforced the importance of nursing frequently, as well as the danger of nipple confusion. The article reminded me that being able to take a firm position, when the nurses in the hospital are pushing bottles of formula at you, is essential.

I'm not that mom who takes a strong philosophical stance on the breastfeeding vs. formula issue. But I do know that breast feeding is the best you can give your child and, like any parent, I want my children to have the best possible foundation, health and otherwise. The reality is that when I begin work again I will likely have to supplement with formula during the day, and I'm okay with that. But in the meanwhile I'm looking forward to nursing Bryce for as long as I can, and giving him the early strong nutritional foundation that he deserves. And as a "second-time" mom I feel more prepared and confident to do this now.

Last Family Outing as “Three”

Posted on July 31, 2010 by Yakini

Today the weather was perfect – it reached around mid-80s with a real nice breeze… way better than the obnoxious, 90-something degrees weather we'd been having. Last weekend we spent a greater part of the time inside preparing the house for the baby and, not that we're finished yet, we wanted to do something fun. After Chase woke up from his nap we quickly got ready and headed out. Derek didn't tell me where we were going – we just packed the stroller, a few snacks for Chase, and headed off.

That's not my beer ~ haha

I was sooooo, so happy to realize, as we entered the borough of Brooklyn and got on the Belt Parkway, that we were heading to Coney Island! We hadn't been to Coney Island since Chase was a baby! Since the weather broke (back in mid-Spring) I've been asking about Coney Island…. but it seemed each weekend we got busy and caught up in some other plans. As my pregnancy has come to an end I had started to accept that maybe Coney Island just wasn't in the stars for us this particular summer.

Coney Island was as fun and awesome as I remembered it – with lively music, people young and old from all walks of life, entertainment on the boardwalk, and lots of yummy food! Chase tried funnel cake, cotton candy, mango, and a virgin pina colado for the first time! We started out at our favorite little boardwalk spot, Ruby's Bar & Grill, and had a drink and just relaxed and enjoyed being outdoors.

I think me and Chase's favorite part of the day was the dance party on the boardwalk. There's always a live DJ outside playing House Music, and naturally a huge crowd gathers and everyone dances and parties with wild abandon. Of course, Chase and I got right up in the middle of the circle (his element) and danced our little hearts out. Derek did take video of it, but it's a bit long and not sure I'll be able to upload it to YouTube (maybe I'll try Vimeo). Well just know that we were getting down!

I did get choked up every time I thought about how this was our last major outing as a family of three. In just a few days everything will change for Chase… all of us really. The rational side of me knows the changes will be all for the better – especially once the initial transition has passed. But the more emotional side of me can't help but feel nostalgic and sad. The significance of the day didn't even hit me until Derek mentioned as we left the house that this was our last weekend before the baby came. I had somehow totally blocked this from my consciousness.

We really wanted to make the day special for Chase, and I think we did. He felt so happy and special as he walked/ran on the boardwalk between mommy and daddy. I hope this feeling always lasts for him – and I hope and pray that he accepts and grows to love his new baby brother with open arms, while also aware that he'll always be mommy and daddy's sweet, special, first-born son.

Updates + More

Posted on July 25, 2010 by Yakini

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the lovely comments on my last blog post. All of your words really helped validate my feelings and reminded me that I'm not an ogre after all! I appreciate that more than you know…

Funny, I'm always reluctant to open up on this blog and get deeply personal, but when I do throw caution to the wind and blog with my heart on my sleeve I'm always glad that I did. Blogging can be so cathartic… when you allow it to be. I feel like just being able to express the feelings in that post freed me of much of the angst I was experiencing. And having spoken aloud about the pink elephant in our house, I feel like I've been a calmer and more patient person. (Plus, we had an extra set of hands helping out this past week, which was incredible).

You know, I've never been one who was much good at suppressing emotions… I find that when you do that they always spill out somehow, and usually not in the right way. So again, many thanks for that outpouring of support!

In Other News:

♥ If you follow me on Facebook (my personal profile) don't be alarmed that my wall is missing. I had a few folks email me about it. I didn't de-friend anybody or make any special "lists" to isolate you. I disabled it. *shrug* The truth is I haven't been enthusiastic about it in a while and at this time time really need to focus my energies into the blog and accompanying Fan Page. I have a few personal goals to reach, with regards to this blog, and not a lot of time to work on them…. so I wanted to pour my little bit of spare time into those goals versus maintaining a personal FB presence. Meanwhile, The Prissy Mommy Life Page is still active, so I'd love it if you'd join us over there!

♥ Health Stuff: I realized I never updated you with regards to Chase's vision. Well we did inquire about it at his 18-month checkup. His doctor was great and gave me the referral to a child's eye doctor. I made an appointment for the next week and he checked Chase out thoroughly…. dilated the poor babe's eyes and then ran all sorts of tests. Turns out his vision is fine, and he suggested I come back when he is 3 years old for another appointment, since poor eyesight does run in both our families. Hmmmm, okay. *scratching head* I am glad to know Chase doesn't need eye glasses for now. But I'm still not convinced that the eye rolling/crossing is "nothing" and, once "life" settles down for me I plan to do some follow-up (either another eye doctor or neurologist). Sorry doc, it's not personal, just the type of mom I am!

♥ And lastly, because I didn't intend for this to be that long (funny how that always happens!) I decided to put Chase's transition to his toddler bed on hold – again. If you recall, I first began the transition back in April, when Chase was 15 1/2 months. That was way too early. He wasn't emotionally mature enough for the switch, and kept getting out of bed, playing in his room, coming into the hallway, etc. So I gave it some time and we started back again at 18 months. I found that he was able to nap in his bed, but his naps would be shorter. He'd wake up after half an hour and come out in the hall, and then that was it. After speaking to a couple of girlfriends, I decided to try the transition at night instead of during the day. So I started putting him in the toddler bed at bedtime and just turned a night light on in the room (so he didn't wake up frightened in the middle of the night).

This proved way more effective than the day time naps. He has clearly matured and understands that it isn't okay to get out of bed anymore (or at least knows better than to leave his room and flaunt his presence to mommy and daddy, lol). He now accepts that this is his "big boy bed" and, like the crib, he is to remain in bed til morning. So the first couple of times it went so well – we were excited!!!! Then one day, after I'd laid him down, I heard him start screaming/crying after an hour. I ran to his bedroom and didn't see Chase anywhere. Turns out he had fallen in this small nook between the floor and the window! Omg, it was scary. He was okay though… crying and still asleep at the same time. I put him in the crib, and we then put some stuff in that nook to prevent him from falling again. But last night he fell out of bed again, at 3 am. I heard a thump and then he started wailing. I raced into the room and picked him up. He was a little dazed but otherwise okay. I had lined the floor with stuffed animals in the event that this happened, so he was startled more than anything. Anyway, this made me realiz
e that, until I can get some real guard rails, he isn't quite ready for this toddler bed. He doesn't yet sleep with that "unconscious but conscious" awareness that there aren't the constraints of crib bars, and I think that's something that will have to come with time.

I'm okay with that now. Like, seriously. When the new baby is ready to transition from co-sleeping in his bassinet to the nursery with Chase…. if Chase isn't yet transitioned over, we'll just get a second crib. It's really all good. The toddler bed can be stored until somebody is ready to sleep in it. I realize now that transitioning from crib to "big boy bed" is a huge step, and it's really unfair to rush Chase simply for the convenience of using the crib for his little brother. I want him to transition into it naturally, as he would have were there no baby on the way. So I'm going to let some more time pass and then allow things to organically unfold as they should. I'm quite sure he'll let us know when he's truly ready to make that move!

Hope ya'all have a great week!!!!

38 Weeks Today!

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Category Archives: Reflections